One Thing
by tiff098765
Summary: There's only one thing that the interviewer could say to even make Beckett consider taking the job. That one thing is the only thing that could make her risk it all.
1. Chapter 1

There was only one thing she wanted to know about the job. One thing that could make her even consider saying "Yes." It was the one thing that put her on a plane early in the morning without telling anyone, just because she had to find out for herself.

She knew she was good enough to get hired. She knew that she could convince Castle to join her in DC. She knew she could nail the interview. She just didn't know if they would really want her on this task force.

She walked into the interview, knowing from the first words - that the boss's family was a hindrance to the job - that the world these people live in doesn't smile upon employees wanting to do the job from 9-5 then go home to their wonderful boyfriends/husbands/ families. She knew that even if she tried that, she'd be like Jordan Shaw - missing birthdays and anniversaries and recitals and homework and bedtime stories. She didn't want to be that kind of wife and mom... if she and Castle ever made it that far... and if this job opportunity ever made it that far.

When the abrupt interviewer said either she believed she could do the job or she could go ahead and leave, Beckett answered honestly, "I know why I'm here."

He asked his questions, though he didn't have many since he had a full file on her. He asked questions more like a shrink would, trying to find out if she really could handle the job. He didn't sugarcoat anything. He asked tough questions, and she answered like Superwoman, nearly invincible.

Then he mellowed, smiled, acted friendly, got her to relax and think the interview was over, and then he asked her the hardest question: "We're about done here... but there is just one thing. You seem to have an amazing team, especially since it is so unconventional with a son-of-a-super-spy-mystery-writer-boyfriend on the team. What kind of agent will you be without them?"

The question made her flinch. First, at the thorough knowledge of Castle's life; second, at then sudden uncertainty she hadn't felt during the whole interview. She took a deep breath, gathered her thoughts, and -with a crinkle between her eyebrows - gave the best answer she could. "Well, my team is amazing. Castle brings to the table a unique perspective that is an unequivocal help in solving homicides. However, I don't believe that this particular task force will need his style of thinking. This isn't so much unearthing mysteries and deducing motives; it's more fact analyzing and getting hard-ass liars to confess the truth. So I think I can be an outstanding agent on this task force."

He noticed that she didn't really say that the task force could fit as her new team. Interesting. He nodded, his lips pursing in consideration. "Thank you, Detective. I think I have all I need."

He shifted to stand up, but Beckett interrupted, making no move to stand. "Actually, I have one thing I need to know as well. This task force is focused on taking down corrupt politicians. Does Senator Bracken happen to be on the list?"

He flashed a brief hint of a smile like he'd just drawn a winning hand (actually it was $100 bet), glad that she was straight-forward enough to say the man's name. Yet, he feigned as though he didn't know their history. "Bracken? The senator you saved from an explosion not so long ago? Why would he be on the list?"

But Beckett had seen his tiny look of near-joy and decided he was bluffing. So she cocked an eyebrow, closed her mouth, and waited - letting the silence dare him to answer her question.

He watched her for about ten seconds, then nodded again, this time letting his smile show. "Yes."

Even he knew that that one word was the one thing she needed to know.

* * *

_A/N: So? What do you think? Please review!_


	2. Chapter 2

She thought that the answer would clarify her decision. It turned out to only make it more difficult. A federal task force was looking into Bracken. She could let go and let someone else handle it. Or, she could have the satisfaction of being the one to handcuff the man herself.

This task force would hopefully be a short-term assignment, with the option of being reassigned to another task force when they'd completed this investigation. Technically, she could go back to the NYPD, as if she's on loan to the feds. But, really, that could flatline her career. It would feel like a demotion if they didn't offer a new assignment.

They would. She'd kick ass.

So the one thing she next had to decide was if she could let go and not be part of this task force? (Could she let someone else try to take down Bracken? As if they could possibly know the depth of his sins. Could they know how he bankrolled his first campaign? Do they know about Montgomery? Does it even matter?)

Without knowing where she was heading with Castle, would it be worth risking their relationship to send Bracken to prison?

So... that kind of made it two things. Or was it three? The more she thought about it, the more questions she had and the more What Ifs came to mind. More things to question.

So she went to her dad, without telling him what the task force was about. She didn't want the case to cloud his advice. Would _any_ case be worth it? Her dad asked what the move would mean for her relationship with Castle.

She went to Lanie, who asked what Castle would think.

But Kate didn't know. So, despite the case and the career-boost... well, that was the real One Thing that mattered, wasn't it?

What would it change for her and Castle?

She methodically began making a pros and cons list in her head. She needed to have it all thought out when she went to him with it. Because it all hung on his response. Where does he want to be in five years?

Is she enough for him, just a lowly cop? She knows she's not just another conquest, but what is she?

She formulated her roadmap for the conversation she'd been afraid to have for so many months; then she never got to have it. He found the plane ticket and it all went to Hell in a handbasket, and she never got to tell him that it all hinged on knowing where they were headed.

He was pissed and she didn't know how to fix it. So she did her damn job.

She verbally pimp-slapped the killer when he tried to deny involvement and she had _had_ _enough._ _"You think you can lie to me? This is my home, and you don't lie to me in my home!"_

Well, home is where the heart is, but Castle's chair was empty. Her home isn't in a job; it's wherever he is.

If only she could be sure of where he would be...


	3. Chapter 3

_I was so disappointed after posting the last chapter of this & my NCIS story. I had no e-mails from FanFiction the next day. None. No reviews, follows, or favorites._

_Yahoo Mail decided that FanFiction was spam. Phew! Y'all ARE reading! It's silly how much joy I get from your reviews. Thank you so much!_

* * *

She was getting tired of this. This stupid pattern they'd set, like an annual thing: one of them keeps a secret, she gets territorial about him making decisions for _her life_, somebody says it's over, and Castle walks out the door. The first time, she kicked him out. The second time, well it was a silent argument about her dating life, but she endured a whole summer without him. The third time, he couldn't answer "What about you?" and his answer wasn't enough, and they fought about Josh and the case... then his answer was enough but she was bleeding out & she abandoned him. The fourth time, _jeez louise,_ she almost died for this damn case, again.

And this time, well, he didn't say "It's over." Not yet. But that is the precedent they'd set. She is quite sure it is coming.

The phrases _"Home is where the heart is,"_ and_ "Don't lie to me in my home_," keep intermingling in her head; and this time she knows finally, that she's the one who is wrong. She lied to him. During a murder case where lies brought everybody down and all they had to do to keep it all from spiraling out of control was for somebody to simply open their mouth and tell the truth, like a spirit yelling at her the whole time that this was the same path she was taking, Kate kept her mouth shut.

There is only one thing she can say. "I'm sorry." No explanation, no but. Just, "I'm sorry."

If it's not already over.

* * *

Rick called his mother on the way back to the loft to make sure she'd be there to talk him through this.

Considering the flake she'd been in the past, she had gotten shockingly good at getting him to analyze his thoughts and fears and feelings.

But, but she sided with _Kate_! She called him absurd. And afraid. And she asked why he held back when it came to Katherine.

Well that was easy - though he wouldn't have phrased like his mother did - somewhere, deep inside, he didn't think it would really work out with Kate Beckett.

Because he didn't.

He rubbed his hands over his face and through his hair and paced back and forth a few more times, studying the floor. He stopped, and jerked his eyes back over to his mom.

"What?" she stammered.

"You're right."

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise, but she answered, "Of course I am, dear. So, why do you think that, and what are you going to do about it?"

His angry, impulsive demeanor dissolved as he analyzed his & Kate's recent conversations. Like when he confessed to cheating on a writing assignment as a kid and admitted that he still felt unworthy of the accolades he'd gotten. He thought she wouldn't see him the same; she ended up saying that it made her like him more. Over and over, he'd revealed small parts of himself - parts he'd hidden from _everyone_ else - and expected her rejection. He expected her to realize she was greater and finally decide it was over. But she loved him more for those things. It baffled him. But he slowly unpeeled the layers of the Beckett Onion as well, and delighted in each new thing he learned.

So... maybe she's the same? Maybe she keeps things in, expecting rejection as well? She said that, when he found the boarding pass, didn't she? That she thought telling him she'd been invited to an interview would upset him.

All he'd thought about was that it was ridiculous to think he'd be mad at the invitation, not that he'd be upset about being left out of the whole damn decision-making process.

He paces more, trying to figure out why she left him out in the first place. Why would she think _he_ would reject _her?_

Storming out of her place instead of talking probably didn't help.

What had his mother said? _"Neither of you knows where this relationship is headed."_ Well, uh, good question. He'd always assumed she'd outgrow him, so he'd been trying to make it last as long as possible. He'd posted on his website (that he knows she reads) that he was going to burn his old Valentine's cards, because his heart was finally taken. He posted his Bucket List with "Get married and make it last," as the final entry. (He wrote that after he knew he was completely in love with Kate.) She _should_ know where he wants this relationship to go.

Should.

So it's time, he decides. The plans he'd made while lying in the dark with her falling asleep in his arms, wishing he could say how he felt; the ring he'd lovingly picked out, had sized, and locked away; it was time. He loves her, even though she's maddening and frustrating; he knows who she is, knows there are more secrets to uncover, and loves her.

So it's time to share his secret. It wasn't supposed to be a secret, but she clearly doesn't know his heart. So he'll very clearly offer it to her. Not out of desperation, but out of determined devotion. If the one thing she needs to know is where this is going, he'll be exact. If she needs a touchstone to make it real, she shall have a very real ring.

He calls her, asks to meet at the swings. "We need to talk."

* * *

_A/N: I love reviews like I love butterfinger-brownie-cookies. Mmm. They're just sooo good._


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